This land like a mirror turns you inward
And you become a forest in a furtive lake;
The dark pines of your mind reach downward,
You dream in the green of your time,
Your memory is a row of sinking pines.

Explorer, you tell yourself this is not what you came for
Although it is good here, and green;
You had meant to move with a kind of largeness,
You had planned a heavy grace, an anguished dream.

But the dark pines of your mind dip deeper
And you are sinking, sinking, sleeper
In an elementary world;
There is something down there and you want it told.

— “Dark Pines Under Water,” The Shadow Maker

it doesn’t matter if i can read, he loves you and only you and no one ever in the entire world but you. but i can not avoid immortal keyloggers, so you will have to cope with my existence - because this is all i have and all i will ever have.

and matt …

i do not want you to feel guilty for anything, for whatever reason you chose never to speak to me again - i respect that and promise never speak of you, or bother you ever again.